Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Tip#108: Push Your Comfort Zone - Hitch

There is an interesting fact about water when it is pushed beyond a certain temperature. At 211° water is hot. At 212° it boils and transforms into steam. That steam can then power a locomotive! That one degree of difference is a fantastic metaphor for you to push through your fears.

I always see powerful transformations with participants in every workshop I give. Pushing their comfort zones is what I encourage especially in my "Make Connections" programs for building self-confidence and people skills. One of these programs is one I've already discussed in the previous 2 tips called "Improve Your Social Interactions" geared towards singles at the Royal Ontario Museum.

I recently completed the latest 4 session course and we debriefed our on location session at a live singles event where my students applied their interaction lessons with new people. There was one student at the start of the evening who was petrified at being there. I let her know that I was proud of her for mustering up the courage for actually showing up. It was a big accomplishment and it was important for her to drink in that personal breakthrough. Later I was so happy to see that she stayed the entire evening and was mingling among the huge crowd of over 180 people.


The fears I see in people at these singles event and any other social event reminded me of the movie, Hitchstarring Will Smith as the title character. He plays a matchmaker called the "date doctor" who helps men with techniques for dating women they genuinely liked. In the end he helped them push their comfort zones that always resulted in building their self-confidence.

A perfect example is how he helps one man, played by Kevin James, who is very socially awkward. Through Hitch's coaching he tries new options for expressing himself to the woman he loves. There are scenes he is clearly pushing his comfort zones and struggling with his self-confidence. Though these scenes are very humorous there is obviously an inner pain he is overcoming that anyone can identify with.

Ultimately he pushes through and wins his girl's heart. It's an inspiration to push your own boundaries for expressing your needs and desires. It takes time and practice but eventually you will accomplish your goals.

Movie Mirrors

Did I see myself in Will Smith's character? In a lot of ways the answer is yes. Here was a man who was an expert in meeting new people and provided a service to help others do the same and with confidence. And yet he was still learning to overcome his challenges when it came to women he truly cared for.

This was another great movie mirror for me to confirm that I am on the right track with my life and career and will find my own true love. I know it will happen and I will continue to push my own comfort zones to achieve this dream.

Transform Your Old Self

So remember that it takes that one courageous action for you to transform your old self into the confident self you dream of becoming. Remember that transformational point of just one degree where water turns into steam. That's the point you can overcome your existing boundaries.

And remember that steam is powerful enough to move a locomotive. To empower your own locomotive all you have to do is push through the invisible barriers in your mind. Remember the only one holding you back is you.

"It takes courage to push yourself to places that you have never been before... to test your limits... to break through barriers. And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
Anais nin

Topic: How To Press Play When You're Stuck On Pause
When: Saturday, Dec 1st, 5:45pm
Where: Inspired Life Wellness Centre, Toronto Canada
More info: Click Here

Emmanuel Lopez
Silverlining Specialist & Motivational Wingman
© Emmanuel Lopez 2007


Anonymous said...

Your message came at the right time for me.

Thanks a lot.

Patrick B.

therapydoc said...

We call them baby steps, right?

Anonymous said...

I love the Anais Nin quote's a great place to be.


Anonymous said...

Dear Emmanuel,
Love, love, love it!! Love the comparison to how steam is created - pushing water to its limits and how that can power the locomotive - just by pushing your boundaries. Brilliant analogy.

The quote by "Anais nin", profound. I love it. So beautiful. And your quote "Remember the only one holding you back is you". This is so true that I want to scream!!! I can totally relate.

I admire and appreciate your honesty regarding "Hitch" review (also everything else you have written and spoken about). It is touching to see your feelings out there. That is what makes your classes/website/blog etc... so great. As I said before, "you get it".

Keep up the fantastic work.

(From ROM workshops)